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October 12 I Don't Believe You 我梦到坐在学校的后山上,看漫山遍野的枯草和变黄的树叶。
....可是。回不去了。
We are gonna be Ok.
We are gonna be Ok.
September 30 其实离开意味着很多事情 从下定决心离开公司那天, 就幻想着当这一切终将结束我会是多么高兴. 但是当这一天终于来临的时候, 发现离开其实比接近更难. 可能是在TimeOut工作了一段时间, 让我认识到更多的事情。 也许是三个多月天天只和她接触的原因,直到离开的这一刻才发现心里流淌下的竟是悲伤。
我不知道自己怎么了,在看到别人工作的样子之后,才发现自己差的那么多,才知道她的要求虽然很高,但并不过分,是我做得不够好。所有她为我做的,English Tea, the gift, CDs, Magazines, Chocolate Bars, Recommendation Letter. 所有的事情,大大小小,我也都记得住。 今天中午在Face我俩吃的泰餐,聊了好多。突然觉得了解她了好多,不再是那个不可理喻的女人了。她的野心,对经营的理念,和对以后生活的打算都让我觉得她是这么一个具有鲜明个性的外国人。第一个与我相处这么长时间的外国人。
就像是每个人都要走向他下一段路程一样,这段磨合的过程我们走得并不轻松,但至少结果是好的。连她老公TimeOut的老板都不当了,也不能怪我辞职啊。她是个聪明的女人,我想她完全能够知道我走的原因。但令人欣慰的是我们还能保持朋友的关系。
走的时候她抱了我一下。其实拥抱有时候感觉特别温暖。
以下是写给她的道别信:
Hi Sarah, I attached BB People database. and I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. I leant so many things from you during these months and you are one of the most amazing people I've met in my life. I wish all the best for you and Tom. I hope I can see you again, but in case I don't, have a nice life.
Olive 背景是Amy Winehouse. 原来并不喜欢,但因为是她给的CD之一,现在发现非常有味道。
September 02 狂爱P!nk |没想到我老板还采访过吴宇森
Woo-ing the audienceSarah Keenlyside talks to legendary director John Woo about faith, the death on the Red Cliff set, and his next pet project. The sound of a thundering drumbeat quickly followed by the roar of a thousand men charging into battle fills the small room in an office block ‘We’re still have about 600 CGI effects to do on the second half of the movie,’ he says of Red Cliff Part two’s progress. Despite his workload, Woo seems relaxed; much more relaxed than he was two months ago when he declined an interview with this magazine after a stuntman died and six others were injured in a fire on set. Since then, the huge box office success of Red Cliff an ambitious, sprawling two-part epic that marks his triumphant return to Chinese cinema after 15 years in Hollywood – has been of great comfort to Woo. ‘[The death] made everybody so sad,’ he confides after enjoying a well-deserved cigarette. ‘At the time I just wanted to keep everyone’s morale up, to try to encourage them, but it was hard. We won’t forget the people who died and were injured, but the public’s] reaction to the movie made us very happy, because it made us feel as though it was a film worth making.’ It’s clear that Red Cliff – an accurate portrayal of one of Chinese history’s defining battles – is a pet project of Woo’s; a film he’s been trying to get made for years. It was also the film he no doubt hoped would silence the critics who have been whispering that he had lost his mojo. After going Stateside in 1993 and making a string of successful Hollywood actioners including Face/Off and Mission Impossible 2, by the time Windtalkers came around his fans were claiming he hadn’t made a good film in years. What’s perhaps sad about that is he fact that when you meet Woo, it’s clear that he is a kindly, sensitive soul. When one of his previous babies, the highly personal and political morality tale Bullet in the Head, was badly received, he was said to be crushed. Just as well, then, that Red Cliff has made over 300 million RMB to date, and can now stand tall as the biggest grossing film of all time in China. ‘I could have continued working in Hollywood,’ he says, ‘because I did pretty well in Hollywood. But I learned so much from working in the US that I felt I should give something back to China, to the young people here.’ The idea, he says, was not only for the film’s US contingent to understand Asia better, but to give the Mainland’s budding directors and producers a chance to work with Americans, and to be inspired by their methods. And if anyone understands the importance of giving young people opportunities, it’s Woo. After his family fled China for Hong Kong in the ’50s, his childhood became characterised by gang violence and extreme hardship. ‘I was attacked a lot and had to fight back,’ he says with a hint of retrospective pride. ‘I was always bleeding, but I had to fight to survive, you know?’ Finding shelter in either the church (Woo is still a practicing Catholic) or the movie theatre after those fights was what prevented him losing hope, he says candidly. ‘The church took care of me and put me through school.’ His next film, Calibre (as in Excalibre), will be a Western in partnership with Johnny Depp’s production company Infinitum Nihil, and is based on a comic novel.Arthur and his nights retold in the American West seems a perfect fit for a gun loving Americanophile like Woo. So much so it’s a wonder it’s taken him this long… ‘For me to make a Western or a musical has been one of my dreams for years,’ he admits. Er, hang on a cotton picking minute, a musical?! ‘Hollywood’. And the name? ‘The Dancer’. ‘I’ve been working on that script for almost eight years because it’s so hard to get the studio to take a risk. But I think this project will work because it’s my type of movie.’ The look on my face must let on that I’m struggling to make the connection between the musical lover and the man who likes to drench his actors in blood onscreen. ‘When I was younger, the first colour movie I saw was a musical,’ he elaborates. ‘In a musical I found the beauty and joy of life, I found happiness. They reminded me that there was still a lot of good people and beautiful people in the world.’‘It’s hard to get people to believe in ‘Some people say “oh John, John’s just an action director”. But I just love human stories.’
发一篇Feature在这里也帮她宣传宣传Timeout的影响力...算是在辞职前做一点能做的慈善事业。什么时候也能让我掺和掺和采访? 咱不要吴宇森,李雨春就成。
August 12 整死我!! 真的,你就整死我吧,往死里整,我也不至于这么痛苦。我多希望明天她跟我说: Oh, Olive. You don't need to go to work anymore, cause you are fired. 真的. We don't need to hide anymore. There's just no point of doing this, really. I'm not Betty, not government offical who could do thousands magical things. If you said anyone could do it, then find that person. Just PLEASE PLEASE don't torture me like that. I have had enough. I know I seem incompetent, I couldn't push people harder to get the answer. I dissapoint you everyday as well as myself, well, then why should I sitck around? It just doesn't make any sense. Plus, the good news would be a fucking white guy called me stupid when I cut him of. When I confronted him, he said " It"s none of your businese, lady, who the fuck are you! you just wanted to trip me over" FOR GOD'S SAKE!! I was almost hit by a car!! YOU FUCKING MORON!
我讨厌现在的一切。我讨厌秋天讨厌秋天讨厌讨厌秋天讨厌秋天讨厌讨厌秋天讨厌秋天讨厌讨厌秋天讨厌秋天讨厌讨厌秋天讨厌秋天讨厌讨厌讨厌讨厌讨厌!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!下雨下雨下雨下雨下雨下雨下雨下雨下雨下雨下雨下雨下雨下雨下雨下雨!!!!!!!!!!!傻逼老外傻逼老外傻逼老外傻逼老外傻逼老外傻逼老外傻逼老外傻逼老外傻逼老外傻逼老外!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! August 04 7月份竟然没有日志? shame.. 最近心情实在是不好的很. 身体也不好. 其实我不想总当个抱怨的人, 这样身边的人也会跟着不开心. 可是总是不知道要怎么才能开心起来. 秋天又到了, 花粉肆虐, 每天都在鼻涕眼泪中求生不得, 求死不能. 看着校内改名成人人的视频都能哭个好久. 每天都告诉自己要撑下去, 撑过今天. 不知道是因为不适合这份工作呢, 还是真的能力不行. 只是觉得工作好难, 每一天都好难. 脑子里时时刻刻都飘着要辞职的想法, 然后又努力斗争着告诉自己要坚强. 我没有奢求要回到过去学校的日子, 因为也知道那样的日子再也回不来. 可是为什么每一个人的生活看起来都那么光鲜, 那么快乐. 凭什么我要给自己罩上这层每天都不开心的枷锁. 天天喊累, 天天叹气, 天天没人说话, 一个月生病两次, 哭了N次, 连上网查过敏针的时间都没有. 已经很久没有写日记了. 即使写了, 也写的是沉重. 想想是不是该戒了校内了, 这样也免得看别人活得都那么好而受刺激. 呵, 真没用. 发工资了一点也不高兴, 不知道为什么高兴不起来. 好像追求的并不是钱吧. 可能只是在工作中的成就感, 喜悦, 和被认同. 每天看着地铁里那些衣着光鲜, 打扮精致的女孩, 觉得自己到底是差哪了, 为什么就找不到那么好的工作.
其实Sarah人挺好, 就是有时候很bossy. 而且我一个人呆在办公室的时间也太长了. 总是告诉自己说混出头了就好了, 让大家看看高兴的一面, 光彩的一面. 可是也许...也许就不会有那一天了. 这一天又要有多久, 日子不还得过么, 如果每天过得都不开心, 那人生不还是没质量, 没意义么.
说了这么多丧气话, 真对不住. 可能以后还要说很多.
这周五张北草原音乐节,你都不知道我有多想去看许巍。
June 30 只活在今天 朋友首日封
夕阳洒在我的笑容 感觉咖啡又苦又浓 握在手心 最后温暖只剩下几分钟 门外有自由在等你 胸口有空洞在等我 我们说好 为彼此保重 挥一挥手 送你先走 我的潇洒微笑 像不像个小丑 少了情人 今后多个朋友 给你过头 多余的温柔 我来收 为事争得满脸通红 话语有时说得太重 退让一步 也许会有你想要的天空 门外有自由在等你 胸口有空洞在等我 我们说好 要为彼此保重 挥一挥手 送你先走 我的潇洒微笑 像不像个小丑 少了情人 今后多个朋友 给你过头 多余的温柔 我来收 挥一挥手 不再牵手 多想说我羡慕 你怀中的玩偶 少了情人 今后多个朋友 明天开始 我写的情书 谁来收 挥一挥手 送你先走 我的潇洒微笑 像不像个小丑 少了情人 今后多个朋友 给你过头 多余的温柔 我来收 门外有自由在等你 胸口有空洞在等我 但愿我说不痛 会让你走得更轻松 你越走越远的背后 放心有我这个朋友 像个港口 欢迎回来停留 Kini kita sudah pisah(如今我们已经分开了) Mohon doa engkau bahagia(我祈求希望你会幸福) 但愿我说不痛 会让你走得更轻松 Kini kita sudah pisah(如今我们已经分开了) Mohon doa engkau bahagia(我祈求希望你会幸福) 我像港口 欢迎回来停留 我知道我会撕心裂肺地想你。
May 01 小心猪瘟!Egypt ordered the pig slaughter even though there hasn’t been a single case of swine flu there. Britain, with only five cases, is trying to buy 32 million masks. And in the United States, President Barack Obama said more of the country’s 132,000 schools may have to be shuttered. At airports from Japan to South Korea to Greece and Turkey, thermal cameras were trained on airline passengers to see if any were feverish. And Lebanon discouraged traditional Arab peck-on-the-cheek greetings, even though no one has come down with the virus there. (这个太搞了) Peru and Ecuador joined Cuba and Argentina on Wednesday in banning travel either to or from Mexico, and other nations considered similar bans. In France, President Nicolas Sarkozy met with cabinet ministers to discuss swine flu, and the health minister said France would ask the European Union to suspend flights to Mexico. The U.S., the European Union and other countries have discouraged nonessential travel to Mexico. Some countries have urged their citizens to avoid the United States and Canada as well. Health officials said such bans would do little to stop the virus. (更搞得是这个) Scientists believe that somewhere in the world, months or even a year ago, a pig virus jumped to a human and mutated, and has been spreading between humans ever since. Unlike with bird flu, doctors have no evidence suggesting a direct pig-to-human infection from this strain, which is why they haven’t recommended killing pigs.
Stay Healthy.
April 03 Wow, very wow
以下来自一位网名为Purpleliprabbit的贴 My best girl friend said the reason why I am still single is that I have too high standards. I want that person to be physically young but psychologically mature; a bit of a bad boy but nice and kind in heart; can be a party animal, dance like crazy but also can sit still and enjoy Hitchcock or . She said you just need someone who likes you, with a lot of money. But I just want someone I truly like, even if he's a beggar. My best boy friend said the reason why I am still single is that I don't want other people to tell me what to do, what to say or whom to respect. Sometimes I don't play by the rules and often I do things that surprise myself. I am unpredictable, quirky. Mild feminism thinking pattern and sometimes dyke-like dressing style either attract boys to become my "buddy" or scare them away. My best Chinese friend said I am not like one of them. I go to night clubs, sing loudly and dance like crazy, play drinking games with boys or do pranks at them. Always surrounded by people from all over the world, my official language has become English. Yet it's not easy for me to find a foreign boyfriend still. While the young and hot ones are busy looking for one night stands (or that's not true, since normally girls line up for them), the ones that do want serious relationship are like...old (sorry guys). I like fun and adventure, but I don't play games, even I am still very young and seem to be able to afford getting hurt. I told myself, the reason why I am still single is that I've been looking at the wrong places. Mr. Right doesn't lurk behind the screen checking out classified ads or in the night club waiting to pick up the drunk girls. But I don't have time or money to look elsewhere... So if you think your existence can solve all those dilemmas above, send an email to (此处被我隐去) In order to prove you're a human being and have read carefully what I wrote, please include word "rabbit" in the title and attach a photo. If most of the letters I receive are still from horny desperate aliens, I will pack my idealism and pride, cut and dye my hair into Agyness Deyn, fly to Texas, buy a piece of land and plant potatoes. p.s. a lot of ppl wrote to ask how I define "young". I am looking for ppl born after the 1980's.
现在这女孩儿都怎么了,非得找个老外有什么好? 而且就凭这英语水平,我是打死也不相信她是中国人啊……真是山外有山人外有人,这是我见过的贴里最有震撼力的一篇了。点击率一天就达到了305,估计也有不少人觉得好奇吧。不过其实我觉得她说的却很真诚。不知怎么的。突然有种冲动问问她,结果怎么样。
嗯, 又一个独具个性典型80后。
March 10 Ostrich 被我妈痛斥了一通找工作态度不端正。训得我是哑口无言。
可能在我心底还是觉得自己是个学生。还没学够,也还没玩够吧。
她一定恨死我"啃老"了,当然还有当别的"阿姨"问起时多么"没面子"。
我能理解。
到了一定年龄,就要承担一定责任,这是无法逃避的事实。虽然我还是成天把自己关在一个幻想王国里,不能挣钱却是一个铁的事实。
结论:钱是万恶之源。
December 31 哪怕只有一次是Happy Ending 今天大学语文老师给我们上的最后一节课,要了她的签名,竟然她还记得我的名字,着实的意外了一下。大学四年喜欢的老师很多,有缘份的却很少,觉得跟张雨彤也算是相见恨晚吧。
今晚上李爽来我们寝室了,发现熟起来真是一件挺容易的一件事,只要共同说几个人的坏话之后产生共鸣,友谊也就萌发雏芽了。。。。
其实我还是不明白怎么回事。也没人给我解释一下,我自己真想不通。
也真是的,瞎哭逼哭啊,眼泪流到耳朵里,结果把耳机给淹了,结果不响了,还要花一百多块钱买个耳机,我真能作啊。
我不去图书馆了。
寝室里安了饮水机。
这学期考试我绝对玩完了。
我的梦想淹没在12月份了。
多想哪怕就有一次告诉自己那么勇敢,去做想要做的事,说想要说的话。
哪怕就有一次。
November 30 奖学金。我妹是个有思想的小孩。 从看着大一成绩排名的倒数,到今天从只有一个人在我前面。我想自己是实现了什么。
我再也不说葡萄酸了,因为今年我也吃到葡萄了。而且他们前两年奖学金全加起来的钱都得了回来。
其实我觉得如果有张荣誉证书会比那1500更值钱。
学习真不是说给别人听的,而是做给自己看的。
September 29 我觉得我就快秃顶了 忙的脚打后脑勺,连自己都不知道忙什么,就知道连个洗衣服的时间都没有。
没时间回我妹短信,没时间更新。甚至没时间听歌,已经很久没听歌了。真不像我。
每天就这么越走越迷茫。跌跌撞撞。
昨天幸好没跟他们去china doll, 喝到12点差点回不来,真是群party animal.
你能告我你能干什么么?
我想之所我一直走下去,是因为对现在生活潜意识的不满意。
迷失了。因为学了英语。
因为学了英语。什么都找不到了。
绝对是个错误。而且没有退路。
Fuck Gmail, AOL, Italki, Wikipedia, Craigslist, Skype, New York Times. Fuck off.
September 12 明天不再受压迫了! 打工的直接结果是脏话脱口而出。
每天从早七点干到晚七点,累得吐血才拿那么点钱。
知道小福建家在永安,还是中国十大魅力城市。
不过跟他们说话还是超开心,每天最开心的时间也就是大家坐在车上你一句我一句的逗小福建。
明天不再干了! 终于自由了!
August 25 经典之中的经典They dont have an official, so you guys just have to listen to the song, The Smiths is a really old band and this song Please Please Please Give Me What I Want impressed me when i first heard it from the background of DH, Jolie and Zack went to the prom dance, and Paul Yong asked Susan to share the dance, and that's the acoustic song first made her debut.
August 20 正常点。变态点 真没想到今天还能看一场举重比赛~不过这不是重点。I was so distracted by the guy sitting besides me (course he's a american), they have like five guys, one of them who wore a Star-Spangled Banner shirt is really cute, but he was not the hottest guy among the five, the guy sitting close to me was!
So when i noticed them they started talking, not meant to eavesdrop, but the conversation uncoverd one guy wanted to sell his iphone in china, but some problem made him stuck in the middle of nowhere, so he was negotiating back and forth.
Anyway, after a few questioning, the guy sitting close to me said his cell's screen got crushed since he fixed it last time, and he said: i had to go to Zhong Guan Cun again, i hate this place! Given the circumstance how hectic there is, i chuckled though i didn't mean to disturb him. However, he noticed, and said to me in chinese:让人受不了 with a smile. The smile was so amazing that reminded me of Micheal Phelps! Struck by the smile, smirk was the only polite way i can ever thought of, which was considered to be a stupid thing that i always do. But it was nice, and the belief that i'm gonna try no mattter what is always the thing that i clung to.
well, its really late for today, but it is only start for another morning.
我和老妹,奥体中心。
August 12 我疯了好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人好多美国人
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